


Chains

by Dolimir



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Gen, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-31
Updated: 2011-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcus has his reasons for refusing to participate in the rebirthing ceremony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chains

**Author's Note:**

> This was the very first fanfiction story I ever wrote. I had no idea what fanfiction was, yet felt compelled to write this story. Several months passed before I discovered that other people wrote fanfiction as well. It opened my eyes to a whole new world and set my feet on the path.
> 
> It's interesting (for me) to remember how it all began.
> 
> This story begins and ends during "Ceremonies of Light and Dark."

“I wish you would trust me enough to talk to me, Marcus." Delenn walked beside the Ranger as they entered the shuttle waiting area. "Why are you so reluctant to take part in the rebirthing ceremony?"

The Ranger briefly closed his eyes, not wanting to delve into his reasons, knowing it would reopen barely healed wounds, but also knowing there was no way to avoid the topic. Delenn would keep coming back to it until she received a satisfactory answer. Maybe if he told her part of the truth, she would let him be. "You asked me to give something up, Delenn. I don't have anything left. It's all gone." He indicated an empty chair, silently requesting that she sit. "My brother was the last of our family and he died because of my stupidity. He warned me of the Shadows. I didn't listen. And when they came, I lost him, our home, the colony where we'd grown up, and a woman I was quite fond of." He took a shallow breath, trying to keep the pain from breaking over him like a wave. "I escaped with only the clothes on my back and went off in search of these Rangers he had been going on about, because he believed in them and in you. Everything I was, everything I had died that night. I don't have anything left to give."

"Then that is exactly what you must give up." Delenn took his hand in hers. "Yes, you have lost much, endured much, sacrificed greatly, but you cling to the memory of your sacrifices, of all the things you have lost or left behind. They drag behind you like chains of your own making. They can have a terrible power over you, Marcus. The power of grief, of loss, and regret. Yes, you have let go of the people, the places and the things, but you have not let go of the pain. You have not forgiven yourself."

"For what?" Marcus drew back his hand, afraid of her answer.

"For being alive."

Marcus stared at her, stunned by her revelation, unsure what to say next. No one had ever guessed the truth before and now that the words had been spoken they hung in the air between them, almost as if they had a life of their own.

The speaker overhead announced the arrival of the shuttle carrying the Minbari Captain and his two aides and he saw his chance to escape, before she stumbled upon other truths. "I better tell Security we're bringing him through. You know how they are about unannounced guests," he said quietly.

He desperately wanted to tell someone the truth about his crime, but what if upon hearing it Delenn could not forgive him. Could he bear living with her disdain? It was on his lips to blurt out his story, but the Minbari Captain would be showing up at any moment. It was easier to live with the silence and not touch upon subjects which threatened to consume him. He spun away, almost running towards Security. When part of the heart goes dead it was best to leave it that way.

But as he got closer to Security, his paced slowed. Over the years, he had learned that if he kept busy enough he could ignore the rattling of his chains, but now after talking to Delenn they demanded his attention once again. He tried to employ the Minbari meditations he had learned during his training to ward them off, but to no avail. The further he walked from the waiting area, the more his chains pulled down on him. Gasping for breath, he stopped and leaned against the bulkhead praying no one would stumble across him. What would Garibaldi think of him now if he saw the normally glib Ranger trying to hold back tears? What would any of them think if they knew the truth?

If only... if only he had listened. If only he had believed.

* * * * * * * * * *

It had begun quietly, not what one would expect the beginning of the end to be like.

He had just returned home from a very successful trip to Minos V where he had been able to barter not only for commercial goods for the miners, but also managed to accumulate a substantial profit. The profit would enable each miner to set a little aside for when the mine would dissipate and they would have to spend weeks or months seeking new veins. The mining business was a rocky one and only those who learned to squirrel their savings away survived.

His report to the council had been received with shouts of laughter and congratulatory slaps on the back, which he didn't mind too much, but sometimes the Drazi forgot that humans were not quite as solidly built as they were.

With a lightness in his step he headed for the cottage he and his brother shared. Richard owed him twenty credits and he fully intended to collect. Not be able to sell to the Minotians. Ha. Who was laughing now?

He was just reaching for the door panel when it slid open and Caitlin ran headlong into him. He was about to tease her on being clumsy when he noticed the tears in her eyes.

He gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Cait, what's wrong?"

She tried several times to speak, but in the end she broke from his grasp and simply whispered, "Ask your brother," before she ran down the path leaving him staring after her.

"Richard," he yelled as he entered the cottage, "Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on? Your fiancé nearly ran me down as I was trying to come. . ." He stopped when he saw the tightly packed duffel bag sitting in the middle of the dining table.

"Wart," Richard acknowledged him quietly by using his childhood nickname. "Drozac, would you mind giving us a moment?"

"Not at all. Should I take your bag?" The Drazi eyed Marcus sympathetically.

Richard nodded, his eyes never leaving his brother’s face. "Yes, please."

Marcus waited until the door slid shut behind the Drazi before he spoke again. "I thought you were going to wait until the new cycle," he said, trying unsuccessfully to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

"I was, but I feel the call, Wart. It sings to me at night. I can't explain it."

"But we need you here. I... need you here."

"I wish that were true, but we both know it's not. Your deal with the Minotians has secured your place here on the colony, if that's what you want. You don't need me looking over your shoulder anymore."

"Can't you wait until we get payment? It will only be another month or so."

"No, I can't wait that long. Keep my share. Throw a party with it if you want."

"Richard, you're going to need credits. How do you expect to survive?" he asked, desperately trying to think of some incentive to keep his brother on the planet.

"I won't need credits where I'm going."

"Not need credits," he shouted incredulously. "And pray tell, where in this fair universe do you plan on going where you won't need credits?"

"I'm going to join the Rangers."

"You're what? Please tell me you're not buying into Drozac's stories of playing hero. The Rangers don't exist, Richard. They're nothing more than fanciful stories designed to teach children about right and wrong."

"You're wrong, Marcus. You're dead wrong. The ancient enemy is awakening. The call has been sent out. Forces are gathering. The time to prepare is now. Come with me, Wart. Between the two of us, there is nothing we can't accomplish."

"Pretty words, Richard, but what of Caitlin? Where does she fit into your grand scheme of things?"

"Caitlin understands this is something I must do. When the time is right, I will come back for her."

"No you won't." Marcus walked toward his brother, his rage barely in check. "You have no intention of coming back. You're off to save the universe, what need of you of love?"

"I love Caitlin," Richard protested indignantly.

"Then prove it," Marcus yelled, grabbing his brother by his shoulders. "You said we can accomplish anything if we work together. Well stay here. Prove to me we can accomplish great things. Marry Caitlin. Have children. Become governor, but don't leave us."

Richard gently disengaged his brother’s hand from his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Wart, but this is something I have to do."

Marcus stood staring at his brother in disbelief, not sure if he wanted to beg him to stay or punch him in the mouth. Richard headed towards the door as if realizing if he didn't get out of his brother's reach immediately, he might not get another chance.

"Tell Caitlin, I will be back for her."

"Tell her yourself."

"I already have. I don't think she believed me."

"I don't believe you."

"Come with me, Marcus. Be part of something great," he pleaded, his hands held out toward his brother.

"I thought that's what we were doing here. I thought we were making life better for those here on the colony."

"We are... you are, but there's a universe out there which needs our help, Wart. And we can make a difference out there."

"We can make a difference here." He dropped his gaze to the floor. A part of him longed to join his brother and Drozac, to be the Three Musketeers battling evil and protecting the oppressed, but he had grown out of his boyhood fantasies. This was reality. This planet, dust bowl that it was, was his home. These people needed him.

His brother read his decision in his face as he looked up and nodded sadly in acceptance before as he turned and hit the door panel. Marcus took in his brother's youthful face, the look in his eyes which told him the universe had better watch its step. But before he stepped through the door, Richard crossed the room and grabbed him up in a bear hug.

"Take care of yourself, Wart," he whispered in a choked voice before he turned and strode out of the cottage.

Marcus stood stunned, unsure what to do. The comm unit beeped insistently beside him, breaking his reverie. He ignored it, but it continued to beep. Ripping it from the wall, he threw it across the room and watched as it shattered into several large pieces.

"Bugger.” He closed his eyes and dropped to his knees, wanting to tear the house apart beam by beam, but settled on picking up the pieces of the unit instead.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Caitlin. Caitlin," Marcus spoke quietly into the exterior comm unit of his brother's fiance's cottage. "Caitlin, I know you're in there. I'm not going away until I've spoken with you."

"I'm not decent, Marcus," the voice on the other side whined, not wanting to be bothered, but at the same time, not being able to keep the hint of amusement out of her voice.

"And today is different because..." he drawled slowly.

"You're incorrigible," she sighed on the other side of the panel.

"So incorrage me," he grinned.

The door panel slid open to reveal the tiny woman dressed in a ratty bathrobe which, judging by the style of it probably belonged to her grandmother.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and that has got to be the nastiest piece of apparel I have ever laid my eyes upon," he said, taking the sting out of his words with a lusty grin as he leaned against the door frame.

"I don't recall asking your opinion, *kind* sir," she said with a straight face, although he could see her struggling not to smile.

"Well, best invite me in. We don't want to traumatize the Drazi children by having to explain human apparel."

She laughed as she pulled him through the doorway and pushed him towards the sofa.

"When did you get back?" she asked as he sat down. "Tea?"

"Yes, please. I've been back for about an hour."

"Was the Centauri outpost interested in a trade?"

"Most definitely, but they seemed shocked not to have heard of our little operation before. We're going to have to keep an eye on them. You know how they love to swoop in and help administrate."

"I have every confidence in your ability to keep them at bay, Marcus. You've become quite the diplomat," she said as she handed him a mug of tea.

"Earl Grey?" he asked, surprised, after a sip, "How in the world did you get Earl Grey?"

"I'll have you know, you're not the only one with connections. I have my ways, but," she said holding up a hand, cutting him off, "I'm not going to share them with you. A woman has to have some secrets after all."

"Well, I can't complain. As long as you are willing to share with me from time to time." He grinned as he took another sip.

"Anytime," she said and then added with a laugh, "as long as you desist with your comments about my robe."

Marcus' eyes widened as he exaggerated a grimace. "I don't know if I can do that." He appeared to struggle with the decision until she laughed. "Oh, all right, I guess I can try."

"You're awful."

"Why thank you."

"So why are you here, Marcus?" she asked seriously, although the grin still played at the edges of her mouth.

"I'm giving a party."

"You're what?"

"Ever since I taught Drisanne and Druel how to waltz a couple of weeks back, the Drazi have been pleading with me to put on a ball. I can't picture it myself, but they want an evening of dancing, so with what's left of Richard's portion of the Minotian take, I'm giving a party."

Caitlin's entire demeanor changed at the mention of his brother's name.

"It's been seven months, Cait, and I thought it would be good for you to get out of this house."

"I get out of the house, Marcus. I go to work every day."

"But as soon as your work is done, you come straight home. You don't talk to anyone anymore. You don't socialize. You can't stay in this house waiting for him to come back," he said quietly, knowing his comments would spark a storm of fury.

"And why can't I?" she demanded angrily.

"It's not healthy."

"I'm not hurting anyone. Hell, I'm not even hurting myself."

"But, Cait, you're not living either. Richard never meant for you to stop living. You must follow *your* dreams. *Live* your own life."

"I'm not like you, Marcus. I can't just put it all behind me."

"I'm not asking you to put him behind you. I just want you to get out a little more. Explore new possibilities.” He put the mug on the low table in front of him and stood. “Come to the dance with me."

"What?"

"Come to the dance with me." He took her in his arms and waltzed around the small cottage. "Keep me out of trouble."

"I can't," she laughed as she tried to stop the dance, but he kept on leading.

"And why not?"

"I don't... have anything to wear," she said with sudden inspiration.

Marcus stopped abruptly. "That could be a problem. Lord knows we can't have you showing up in that robe," he said with mock seriousness and overreacted dreadfully as she swatted his arm. "Oh wait, I know," he said as he went back to the couch and picked up the package he had brought in with him.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

He felt a warmth spread across his chest as he watched her tear open the package.

"Oh, my God, Marcus. Centauri silk. However, did you get Centauri silk?" she gasped as she pulled the material from the box and held it up against her skin.

"Can't say. A man's got to have his secrets after all."

"It's the most gorgeous shade of green I've ever seen."

"Centauri emerald, I believe."

"It's so soft."

"Abigail said she could make a gown in two days, which is convenient since the dance is in three," he grinned at her.

"Oh, I couldn't... I couldn't, could I?" she asked as she pulled more silk from the box and ran it across her arms.

"Of course, you can. I'll pick you up around at sunset three days hence."

She looked at him with a strange soft light in her eyes. "I suppose one night wouldn't hurt."

* * * * * * * * * *

Marcus was beginning to despair that he would never get to dance with Caitlin, which he desperately wanted to do. When she answered her door in her new dress, he was stunned. Her auburn hair was free of its normally tight braid and it framed her face with gentle curls. The Centauri silk clung enticingly to her body, showing off all her petite curves.

When they arrived at the town hall, which was doubling as a ballroom, they were an instant hit judging by the hushed whispers which raced around the crowd like an oil fire.

But no sooner had they entered, then the demands for his attention began. Aldrus and Elfort wanted to confirm he would be leaving the next day to hammer out the final details of the Centauri contract. Then Drisanne and Druel each demanded a waltz and one never wanted to disappoint twelve year old Drazi twins. As he hugged Druel and thanked her for the dance, his eyes searched the crowd for signs of Caitlin.  
He found her sipping on a glass of punch talking with Aldrus, but her eyes never left him. He felt his heart tightened as he walked towards her, reveling in how he felt under her gaze. Richard was a fool.

"Milady, may I have this waltz," he said with a very formal bow, then nodded to Aldrus, "That is if I may whisk her from your company momentarily?"

The older Drazi laughed as he graciously took Caitlin's glass. "By all means, Marcus, by all means."

Marcus led her to the dance floor and again bowed deeply to her and was surprised by her perfect curtsy. Taking her into his arms as the music began, he lost himself in her eyes as they began to move about the dance floor.

"Your ball is a complete success, Marcus."

"It's not my ball. I simply taught the twins how to waltz."

"Mark my words, by this time next year, the waltz will be all the rage in the Drazi empire," she laughed.

"I didn't invent the waltz, Cait."

"No, but you introduced it to the Drazi. Drazi are hard working people, a little too hard working if you ask me, but you've introduced them to a gentle means of holding loved ones close and losing themselves for a moment in time."

"You make it sound so poetic," he said quietly, unable to meet her eyes, afraid he might blush like a school boy.

"It is poetic. You have a gift, Marcus. One I wish I had."

"Being?"

"Being that people want to be close to you. You care and people sense that about you. Look around the room, Marcus, every girl, woman and matron is waiting for a chance to dance with you tonight."

"You jest," he laughed.

"I don't, but for now they are going to have to wait," she smiled gently at him as they whisked around the room.

As the music faded and they came to a stop, Marcus found he couldn't bring himself to withdraw his arms from her shoulder and waist and they stood for a time staring into each other's eyes until the music began again.

"What are you thinking?" she asked him quietly.

"I think I'm suffocating."

"Suffocating?" she asked unsure how to take the comment.

"Yes, for every breath you seem to take is mine," he said quietly, staring into her green eyes.

The music slowed to a stop and again he couldn't release her, but this time he pressed forward, mesmerized by her eyes and gave her a gentle kiss. He almost faltered when she returned and deepened it.

An approving murmur went through the crowd and he was suddenly reminded of where they were. Withdrawing, he could see the amused look on her face, but decided to ignore it as he took her hand and led her off the dance floor as new music began playing and the floor once again moved with dancing couples.

Once they reached the wall, he turned and was about to test fate and attempt another kiss, when the grand doors on the other side of the building opened and a gasp escaped from the crowd. Instinctively, he pulled Caitlin in back of him as he turned to face the danger - only to be confronted by the face of his brother.

"Richard," he whispered stunned. Then as the reality of the situation washed over him, he shouted, "Richard," again and threw his arms around his brother.

"Wart, I'm so glad you're here. We have much to talk about."

"Of course. Of course. Let me get you something to drink first."

"There's no time, Wart. We have to start evacuating the planet."

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, sure he hadn't heard his brother correctly.

"Marcus, I was right. The Rangers do exist and the ancient enemy is moving. I have been sent to warn you all that the enemy is moving towards you."

The crowd gasped.

"What in heaven's name are you talking about?" Marcus demand, angry that his brother would blurt out such nonsense without giving any thought to those who stood around them.

"We don't have much time. The evil will be upon us within the week, possibly sooner. We have to move and move quick," Richard said with a shout, trying to get his voice to reach those in the back of the room.

Marcus burned with anger as he took his brother's arm and herded him back toward the grand doors.

Richard struggled against his brother’s grasp. "What are you doing, Wart? We need to start the evacuation."

"Have you lost your mind?" Marcus shouted as soon as they were outside, startling a few of the party-goers who were milling about in the fresh air. "Are you trying to create a panic?" he demanded, ignoring his brother's protests until they reached their cottage and all but tossed him through the door.

Richard appeared to be struggling with his emotions: outrage, fear, anger and finally understanding passed his eyes. He tried to speak, but Marcus cut him off.

"For seven months, we hear nothing from you. No word that you are safe. No *wish you were here* messages. Nothing. And then... then you show up out of thin air with warnings that the ancient evil not only exists, but is coming here to our fair colony. Have you gone completely insane?" he shouted as he paced back and forth in front of his brother.

Richard watched him for a moment, then stood in his pathway, forcing his brother to look at him.

"Marcus, I found the Rangers and they are real. I've been on Minbar with them for the last six months. Human, Minbari and a few from the Non-Aligned Worlds working side by side. We've put aside our differences to work for the common good. Training is supposed to last over a year, but when they discovered the enemy was planning a strike here, they sent me home to warn you."

"Even if the ancient enemy has awakened, Richard, why would they pick us? We have nothing of significant value. We're barely eking out a living ourselves. We have no strategic importance."

"I don't know why we're going to be attacked, but if Ranger One says they're coming, then rest assured they are coming."

Marcus shook his head in frustration, trying to take in what his brother was saying. He turned, only to find himself face to face with Caitlin.

"Cait," Richard said with gladness, cutting Marcus off as he rushed to his fiance. "Cait, you've got to believe me. I had to come and make sure you were safe."

Marcus watched as his brother took the petite woman in his arms and held her tight. He closed his eyes briefly and swallowed the bitter bile which threatened to rise from his throat and consume him.

As if sensing his distress, Caitlin gently disengaged herself from Richard's embrace and turned towards him. Her eyes reflected her torn emotions. He forced a smile he did not feel and said gallantly as he headed towards his room, "I'll leave you two alone for a moment."

"Marcus!" Caitlin cried out to him.

"It's okay, Cait. Talk to Richard." Once in his room, he changed out of his tuxedo and threw it on the bed, then almost without thinking, hung it up. He couldn't believe he had spent such an extravagant amount of credits on a piece of clothing. And for what? A chance to woo his brother's fiancée? And he had accused Richard of losing his mind.

He changed quickly into his traveling clothes. He had been prepared to leave for the Centauri negotiations early in the morning, but given the circumstances, he decided it would be prudent to leave immediately.

When he reentered the living quarters, he found that Richard and Caitlin had been joined by the council. Richard seemed to have just completed his explanation to the elders.

"What do you think, Marcus?" Elfort asked earnestly as he stepped back into the room.

"Elfort, you know my brother. He is an honorable man," Marcus said in a neutral voice as took his cloak from a peg and started for the door.

"What should we do?" Aldrus pleaded.

"Listen to what he has to say," he said to the room in general and then headed out the door.

His walk to the shuttle seemed interminably long and he watched the small enras, grasshopper-like insects, scatter out of his way as he walked down the path. He performed his exterior inspection of the shuttle with a zeal he had not felt since his first solo flight. He was concentrating so hard on his task that he did not hear the light footsteps behind him and so started at the gentle touch on his shoulder. He spun, catching the intruder's hand and holding it up against the shuttle.

"Cait... Caitlin, I'm sorry," he whispered as he released his prisoner and took a step back. "You startled me."

"Where are you going, Marcus?" she asked quietly, unable to take her eyes from his face, but he refused to return her gaze.

"Decided to make an early go of it. Early bird catches the worm and all that rot. No?" he said glibly.

"Don't go," she whispered. "Your brother needs you. I..."

"No," he practically shouted, cutting off the rest of her sentence. "Don't say it."

"How can you leave at a time like this?" she begged, wanting to understand. "He needs your support."

"For what? To evacuate the planet against the ancient enemy? To frighten people by forcing them into fleeing the only home many of them have ever known?"

"But what if what he says is true?"

"Do you honestly believe we would’ve heard nothing if the ancient enemy was afoot, Caitlin? Wouldn't there be stories and wild rumors racing across the Sector? Why haven't we heard a breath of this?"

"I don't know... Do you think Richard is lying?"

"No, but I wonder if he isn't being manipulated."

"For what purpose?"

"I don't know. I don't know," he whispered. "I just need some time to think."

"Marcus, come back and talk to him. Let him explain it to you."

"Caitlin, please try to understand. All of our lives, Richard has been in search of adventure, always wanting to see what was over the next hill, around the next bend in the road, never seeing what was in front of him." He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "I can't compete with that. I won't compete."

"What are you saying, Marcus?"

"I'm saying I find it awfully convenient that Richard should find his Rangers and we're one of the first targets of the ancient enemy. Just when.... just when...."

"Just when, what, Marcus?"

"Nothing," he said shaking his head and releasing her hands, but she refused to let go.

"Just when, what, Marcus?" she repeated.

He backed away from her and into the shuttle. "I'll talk to Richard when I get back, but right now I've got to be going," he said quietly. "Go back to Richard. Do as he says."

"I'm not leaving without you, Marcus," she said in a determined voice.

"Don't be foolish. Listen to what he has to say. Your place is by your fiancé’s side." And with that he shut the door panel and prepared for an immediate departure.

* * * * * * * * * *

Marcus fidgeted with the instrument panel for the hundredth time wondering why the trip home was taking so long.

He shouldn't have left, he decided. He should have talked with Richard about why he thought the Ancient Enemy was going to attack them. At the very least, he should have talked with Elfort and Aldrus about planetary defenses. He didn't think they had enough ships to get everyone off the planet at one time. Some would have to be left behind and they needed to make plans for their safety while waiting for the transports to return.

He shook his head in disbelief. He was acting like he believed Richard. Well, it wouldn't hurt to be prepared. Better to run a drill than to be caught totally unprepared.

 _But what of Caitlin?_ a small internal voice asked him.

Caitlin belonged to Richard and there would be no further discussion on that point.

 _Richard doesn't own Caitlin_ the voice insisted. _She's her own person._

True, he thought, but he didn't know her true feelings, not after one partial evening together, and he wouldn't put her in the awkward position of having to turn him down should he choose to declare his desire for her. No, he would be satisfied to love her as a sister and to celebrate the love she and Richard shared.

The inner voice was about to protest that thought when a sensor light blinked red on the console as he began his entry into the atmosphere. He looked up in time to see a small black iridescent ship fire at him. He tried to evade the blast, but it caught the back of his ship. He didn't need to ask the computer how bad it was to know it was serious.

 _What in the hell was going on?_ was his last coherent thought before he put all of his energy into trying to keep the ship in one piece.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hell must look like this, he thought as he stumbled down the middle of the street, past the burned out homes of his neighbors. As the sun set, the destruction around him seared itself into his memory, but he seemed unable to understand its significance. He felt as if he were walking through a dream, wondering what psychological significance the images around him had and what one thing would serve as a catalyst to wake him from his nightmare. But the scene did not change.

 _Home._ The thought came to him quietly and he walked woodenly to where his small cottage once stood. Nothing but ashes greeted him. No token, no picture, no scrape of his life remained.

"Wake up," he whispered to himself, knowing if he could concentrate hard enough, he would awaken from this scene.

He turned unable to stare at the rubble any longer. All the cottages around his had been reduced to gravel, all but one small house standing unscathed in the distance.

"Caitlin," he whispered as he raced towards her home, praying she had listened to Richard and left.

He stopped outside her door and pushed the comm button, but received no answer. Bracing himself, he said a quick prayer as he physically forced the door open. _She won't be here. You're wasting your time_ he prayed with all of his might, but as he looked into the house he could see two bodies laying on the floor, framed in the dying light filtering through the shattered windows.

He stumbled inside, his knees buckling, forcing him to crawl towards the bodies. Richard was lying, crumpled like a rag doll, against a wall as if he had tried to protect Caitlin but had been flung away by a child with no more interest in him. Caitlin lay in a pool of her own blood, her eyes wide in terror, as if she had known she wouldn't be able to escape the coming horror.

A howl ripped through his soul and it wasn't until his throat burned that he realized he had actually cried out. He tried to straighten her hair, but her blood had caked on the floor making it impossible. He gently shut her eyes, unable to bear her stare any longer.

"Why didn't you leave?" he whispered as he sought to straighten her clothing, but the remaining shreds wouldn't cover her properly.

He reached out to pull a small lap blanket from what remained of her couch, but stopped as he saw his hands for the first time. A sob escaped from him. Her blood was on his hands.

He covered her with the blanket and sat in silent vigil next to her body; unable to move; unable to think what he should do next.

"Marcus," a torn whisper called to him.

He spun frantically looking for the source. "Richard?" he asked as he scrambled next to what remained of his brother.

"Wart," his brother mouthed, barely above a whisper.

"My God, don't move. Let me take a look at your injuries." He tried to open his brother's shirt, but Richard's hand stopped him.

"There's no time."

"Don't talk like that. I just need to find some medical supplies."

"Wart, they're not gone yet."

"Who's not gone?"

"The Shadows." He coughed, spitting up blood as he did so.

"I didn't see anyone, Richard." He tried to calm his brother by taking his hand into his own. "I think they've left."

"No, they're here." Richard tried to sit up, but fell back to the floor. "You can't see them, Marcus. They move through the walls. They. . ."

"Richard, please don't move. You need to lie still."

"No time, Wart, no time." He closed his eyes, but then with an energy he seemed to pull from within himself, opened them and stared intensely at his brother, "Promise me..."

"What? You know I'll promise you anything."

"Find the Rangers. Take my place."

"Don't talk foolishly, Richard. I'm going to get you out of here and I'll personally take you back to your Rangers." He tried to sound confident, but was unable to keep the tears from slipping down his face.

Richard smiled gently at him. "Do you see my broach?"

"The one with the green stone? Yes."

"Take it off."

Marcus' fingers trembled and it took him several moments to find the clasp. "What now?" he asked as he held the pin out to his brother.

"Keep it. Go to Minbar. Show it to Ranger One. Tell him you are taking my place."  
"Richard... "

"For God's sake, Marcus!" Richard shouted and then spent several moments gasping for air. "Make a difference for us. Listen to the Rangers. Understand what they're trying to accomplish. Protect Delenn, for she is the Chosen One."

"Who is Delenn?" he asked, confused.

"She's an Ambassador... Minbar...protect her... stand by her side... in my place." He gasped as his eyes took on a far away look.

Marcus grabbed his brother by the shirt as if trying to physically keep his spirit from leaving its damaged vessel. "Richard... Richard, don't leave me!"

Looking over his brother's shoulder, Richard nodded as if listening to someone else. "Of course." Then looking into Marcus' eyes he whispered, "Don't blame yourself, Wart. There are greater forces at work here... be part of the light... promise me, you'll take my place."

Marcus looked down into the eyes of his brother and saw the light begin to flicker. "I promise, Richard. I promise."

"I love you, Wart."

"Forgive me, Richard." He wept silently as he watched the light fade from his brother's eyes. His heart frozen, he looked away from his brother and down at the broach biting into his hand. The figures on either side of the stone seemed to be weeping. A clear drop of water dripped from either side followed by two red drops.

He wondered briefly if he was loosing his mind, but his thoughts were interrupted by a scream which tore at his sanity. He pushed himself to his feet and looked out into the darkness, but all he could see was the last rays of daylight setting on the destruction around him.

The scream echoed again, closer, promising the destruction of all life and light.

 _Run,_ a small voice urged, but he resisted as he looked back at the bodies of the two people he had cared most about in the universe. Could he leave them like this? Wouldn't joining them in death be preferable to the emptiness which awaited him?

 _Remember your promise,_ the small voice said quietly.

Taking a deep breath, he practically threw himself out of the cottage and ran for the horizon, not knowing where he was running to or who he was escaping from.

A scream of triumph echoed behind him and he knew he’d been spotted, but he continued to run, kilometer after kilometer. Desperation giving him an endurance he didn't know he possessed. He could feel the evil closing in on him - living only to distinguish his light from the universe. He also felt his strength begin to wan and knew his foot race would be over soon, and yet he longed to overcome the impending darkness and see Richard's dream fulfilled.

"Marcus!" two tiny voices called to him from overhead. He looked up to see a small shuttle hovering just ahead of him with the Drazi twins staring at him in horror.

"Run, Marcus, run," Druel screamed, while Drisanne seemed unable to move, paralyzed with fear by the creature following him. He could hear its labored breathing behind him, but dared not look over his shoulder to gauge the distance behind them.

Even as he leapt towards the shuttle, it began to rise higher into the atmosphere. He misjudged the distance and found himself barely holding onto the frame of the open doorway, his legs hanging below the shuttle. The girls cried in panic as they pulled on him, trying to help him into the safety of the ship.

He heard the scream of hatred rising ever closer and felt the creature tearing at his legs trying to get a hand-hold. Fueled by a surge of adrenaline, he flailed his legs and felt the creature lose its grip as it fell, screaming in defeat. Drisanne closed the shuttle door as soon as his feet were in, so he was unable to see the creature who had pursued him so far.

He hugged the twins close to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Drozac was hiding us," Druel said quietly. "He finally found a working shuttle and said it was time to go. We were leaving when we saw you."

"It almost got you, Marcus." Drisanne cried as she hugged him again.

"I'm okay, girls, really. You were both very brave rescuing me like that." He gave them each a tiny kiss on the cheek. "Strap yourselves in. I need to speak with Drozac." They nodded and obeyed.

He slipped quietly into the cockpit and sat next to his brother's friend. "Are we going to make it out of the atmosphere?"

"Yes," the scaly alien replied. "I may not be the best pilot, but I know a few tricks."

"Thank you," he said simply, unable to express the myriad of emotions tumbling around his head.

"He is dead," Drozac said as a statement, not a question.

Marcus held out the broach and the Drazi nodded.

"My family will care for the girls," Drozac said quietly, "but what will you do?"

"I will find these Rangers and keep my promise," he said with quiet determination, although his heart was dead.

"I will take you to them," Drozac said quietly and nothing more was spoken between them.

* * * * * * * * * *

The door to Marcus' quarters chimed.

"Come."

When it opened, it revealed the very fragile looking Minbari ambassador.

"Delenn!" He jumped to his feet and rushed to her side. "What are you doing out and about? Stephen is going to have a fit when he finds out you're on your feet," he said, keeping up the gentle patter of conversation as he guided her to the chair.

"I had to speak with you, Marcus, and as you would not come to me, I decided to come to you."

"That's what comm units are for, Delenn," he quietly scolded her as he knelt beside the chair.

The Minbari ambassador ignored his comment. "How can I thank you for accompanying the bodies back to Minbar?" she asked quietly.

"No thanks are needed, Delenn. It was the least I could do after all the problems I caused."

"Problems?" she asked, looking confused.

"If I hadn't left you... if I had been there...."

"No, you mustn't blame yourself, Marcus. There was nothing you could do. Had you been there, you might have been killed too and I would not have been rescued. It is my understanding you were instrumental in locating us."

"Everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault, but yet when I don't act, people are hurt or killed," he said bitterly.

"You must let go of the guilt, Marcus," she said in a firm voice.

For a moment, he was soothed by her words, but the chains around him rattled even louder. He looked into her eyes and saw her draw back, momentarily frightened by the depth of the pain she saw in his. He smiled in understanding and erected the first wall.

She sensed it go up. "No, Marcus," she pleaded quietly.

Another wall went up, walling away the pain, and then another and another.

She put her hand gently on the side of his face, "You must let go."

"Let go? It's what keeps me alive," he said, trying to explain, wanting her to understand. He saw the look of determination in her eyes, but getting to his feet he laughed. "We better get you back before Stephen finds you missing." Gently, he helped her to her feet.

"We will talk about this again, Marcus," she promised.

He nodded and then started the long slow walk with her back to the MedLab.


End file.
